The Kind Art of Forgiveness
As a Successgirl coach, naturally I am privy to personal stories; brief glimpses into somebody’s life and challenges that at times shadow my own. The topic that gets my knickers in a knot is forgiveness, or lack there of...no doubt, we’ve all had our share. I too have witnessed it up close – usually on the painful receiving end. Friendships that I thought would last forever had turned toxic after I married my husband. A handful of amazing, incredible, superstar women, all of whom I dearly admired, who I thought had my back, but ultimately didn’t. Was it a coincidence? A secret plot against me? Did I abandon my friends, or they me? Was I unkind or just unworthy of them? Truthfully, I still don’t know, and for many years, I tortured myself, my husband, and my family as I allowed this dialogue to replay in my head.
Reflecting back, there were so many layers that contributed to these break-ups, from over-imbibing in alcohol and ridiculous misunderstandings to good old-fashioned jealousy. Now, the reasons – regardless of whose fault it may have been – mean so little to me. I’ve come to understand that our past is filled with broken parts that eventually heal. In the midst of adulting, we bare arms in our efforts to protect ourselves and sometimes this means parting ways. But I do believe that as time passes, we grow wise and come to a deeper understanding of our past; at least this was true for me. I did try make amends with some of these broken friendships, but was rebuked, and to be honest, it felt like taking a bullet. And just like Elsa belted out in Frozen, I “let it go." Am I am still hopeful for a reconciliation? Absolutely. But it takes an incredible amount of courage, self-reflection, and emotional muscle to forgive. You see, forgiveness is not only an art but also a gift – not just to the person you are forgiving, but also to the spiritual load you are carrying. So as you continue with your life’s journey, ask yourself this; are you the unforgiving person in someone’s story?
